A Smattering of Lyrical Literature
by Romantic-Agony
Summary: Oneshot song fics, Some cannon, some not. Something for everyone, hopefully. White Flag, Still Believe, As Long As you're Mine, Arms of an Angel, The Kill, Remember When It Rained, Was It A Dream.
1. White Flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,   
Or tell you that.  
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it  
where's the sense in that? 

I shouldn't have told you how I felt in the first place. That never turns out well for me. Everyone always wants to "stay friends." Well, I knew you didn't have that excuse, because we weren't friends. I shouldn't have told you again, trying to figure out what was going on, trying to sort things out. I hate secrets, I hate confusion. Usually I am the one listening to other peoples… I don't want secrets, when I have everyone else's.

_  
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder  
Or return to where we were  
_

I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I really don't want us to hate each other. But I had to get it off my chest. I had to tell you. For what's left of my sanity, I had to tell you.

_  
I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be  
_

We are about to leave and we said we shouldn't, it would be better. But I won't forget, I won't stop loving you. I can't stop loving you. You plague me every waking moment. You're gone, I wonder how you are. You're there, I wonder what you're thinking, what you want to be doing, what person is haunting your thoughts like you haunt mine.

_  
I know I left too much mess and  
destruction to come back again  
And I caused nothing but trouble  
I understand if you can't talk to me again  
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"  
then I'm sure that that makes sense  
_

So much confession. So much pain. So many insults. I want to be friends. I don't want this to end us, even if it ends "us".

_  
I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be_

And when we meet  
Which I'm sure we will  
All that was there  
Will be there still  
I'll let it pass  
And hold my tongue  
And you will think  
That I've moved on...

We'll meet in the future. With graduation just around the corner, we have to go our separate ways. But we will meet. And I'll love you just as much, if not more than ever. But I won't tell you that. I let you tell me about your happy life, all the money you're making, the wonderful marriage you had, the kid that's on the way. I won't tell you how you're breaking my heart, How that was supposed to be me with the wonderful marriage to you, the one expecting your child. The one you love. Because I still love you. But I won't ruin your happiness by telling you that. You'll leave, pretty little wife at your side, while I smile and crumble on the inside.

I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender   
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be


	2. Still Believe

Somehow I know I will find a way  
To a brighter day in the sun  
Somewhere that I know he waits for me  
Someday soon he'll see I'm the one 

I know that somewhere in his heart he cares, that he'll soon see. How can we be such good friends, have done what we have, to not have a deeper connection? I can't be the only one to feel it. To see it. To taste it. He feels it too. But I bet he's scared to acknowledge it, to feel the depth of emotion. I know I sure as heck am. I'm scared out of my mind. But I can't let myself be consumed wholly by his presence, by his aura.

_  
I won't give up on this feeling  
And nothing could keep me away  
_

I don't care what he says or does. Which is pretty bad, because he's said and done quite a few things. I know he'll change, if he hasn't already. I can never tell. He's perfect in my mind, even if he's far from it in real life. Isn't that how love is? That's how it should be. And I will always love him, even if it eventually crawls to a small corner of my heart to cry itself to sleep at night.

Cause I still believe in destiny  
That you and I were meant to be  
I still wish on the stars as they fall from above  
Cause I still believe, believe in love

I know what's real can not be denied  
Although it may hide for a while  
With just one touch, love can calm your fears  
Turning all your tears into smiles

It's such a wondrous feeling  
I know that my heart can't be wrong

This is such an amazing feeling. One of total faith in some higher being. Faith that he'll soon see what it means to be so deeply attached to someone. The knowledge that a love this strong can be felt by both parties. Maybe not now, but soon. Soon someone will comfort him, and love him like he deserves to be loved, like I wish I could show him.

Love can make miracles, change everything  
Lift you from the darkness and make your heart sing  
Love is a river when you fall  
It's the greatest power of all

I believe in the higher power of love. I believe that one day I will be with one who sees me for the beauty that I am. And one day he will be with someone who feels like I do toward him. Someone who feels guilty to even flirt with other boys, even when you aren't with the one you want. I love him. Are you reading this? I love you. Three words, so hard to say out loud, so easy to write anonymously. I LOVE YOU!


	3. As Long As You're Mine

Kiss me too fiercely  
Hold me too tight  
I need help believing  
You're with me tonight  
My wildest dreamings  
Could not foresee  
Lying beside you  
With you wanting me

And just for this moment  
As long as you're mine  
I've lost all resistance  
And crossed some borderline  
And if it turns out  
It's over too fast  
I'll make ev'ry last moment last  
As long as you're mine  
Maybe I'm brainless  
Maybe I'm wise  
But you've got me seeing  
Through different eyes  
Somehow I've fallen  
Under your spell  
And somehow I'm feeling  
It's "up" that I fell  
Every moment  
As long as you're mine  
I'll wake up my body  
And make up for lost time  
Say there's no future  
For us as a pair  
And though I may know  
I don't care!  
Just for this moment  
As long as you're mine  
Come be how you want to  
And see how bright we shine  
Borrow the moonlight  
Until it is through  
And know I'll be here holding you  
As long as you're mine

There was barely enough light to see in the Room of Requirement. The two lust-struck teenagers lay there, both consumed in the fiercest make-out session there could possibly be. Neither one believed that this was happening. It happened so fast. At first, they had been in the hall, fighting about something stupid, something neither of them could remember or cared to at the moment. Both of them knew the line between hate and lust was close, but for it to be this close, for them to be scratching at each other while trying to be inside the other, to be one person.

Normally, Hermione Granger would never fall into this trap. But she is a growing teenager, complete with the hormones that everyone experiences. And Draco Malfoy? Don't ask him how he came to be doing this. Contrary to popular belief, he isn't some "sex god"… as a matter of fact, he normally got very nervous around the opposite sex… that's why he was so arrogant. Malfoy's aren't scared. This wasn't going to last very long, though both he and she were aware that they would never forget it.

Draco was certainly in a tailspin. She was a muggleborn, for Merlin's sake!! But something about the fact that she bested him at everything she could, and if she couldn't, she at least tried to get better at it. Most girls flittered or giggled and let him do whatever he wanted. Not this one. And though he couldn't place his finger on it, he knew that their competitiveness made him a better person.

But neither cared right now for their relationship of loathing. All they knew was the pleasure they were giving one another, the fact that this was a one time thing and they therefore had to make the best of it.

As they left the room, hastily replacing their uniforms in the proper places, they took one more look at each other.

"You vile, horrible ferret. Watch where you put those albino hands!"

"Don't worry, these hands will stay clean of your filth from now on, be guaranteed of THAT!"

And with these parting words, The two students went their separate ways. Promising themselves that they would never fall into their animal instincts again.

A/N: Hi all. There have been some people that wanted a slightly more cannon Dramione… this is dedicated to you.


	4. Arms of an Angel

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There's always one reason

To feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty

And weightless and maybe

Ill find some peace tonight

Draco never felt like he could win her. Hermione Granger was way out

of his league. He wish he could start over his first meeting with her.

He never would have started the years of insults and taunting. Because,

although he had been raised to believe that muggle borns were inferior,

how could he deny the evidence before his eyes. He may be a pureblood,

but that didn't mean he was totally stupid. If she beat him at things,

and she was also inferior, what did that make him? A hypocrite at best. At worst he was… he didn't even dare think about it. Besides, he new that he wasn't good enough for her, both in a sense that he was evil and a sense that she was just superior to him. He needed a distraction. He followed Pansy up to her room. Memories of him being evil to her, of her being hurt by him, all of them were taken from his head by this moments distraction that would soon make him feel worse. But he always hoped it would help him find some peace, this sleeping around.

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

He never knew exactly how to get rid of these memories. He would sit alone for hours in the library, knowing she was just on the other side of the bookcases. He would sit there and imagine her arms wrapped around him, saving him from his inner demons and also the ones that were his family. He would imagine him and her, off in an Italian villa, even if he doesn't like the sunlight very much, because she wanted to be there. He wanted to be saved from the certain death he would face if he left school and became a Death Eater like his father wanted. He may not particularly LIKE Potter, but he was certain Potter would kick Voldemort's ass.

Suddenly, he was back in the library, not exactly sure why his mind had stopped wandering. Why his thoughts had been scattered. Oh, someone was hugging him… wait, WHAT?!?!?

"Don't cry, Malfoy"

"What's it to you, Granger?"

"I…I…I don't know. But please, don't cry. I'll listen, if you want to talk."

"That's…ok. But, can you give me another hug? I don't think anyone has ever given me a sincere one of those…"

So tired of the straight line

And everywhere you turn

There's vultures and thieves at your back

And the storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lie

That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference

Escaping one last time

It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

Hermione Granger was tired. Tired of being "perfect." It really took a lot of work. Studying all the time, keeping Harry and Ron from failing. She was just tired. And on top of all that, she had to help Harry with his research into defeating Voldemort. Why did there have to be people like him in the world? Her anger and frustration just keep building and building. But she couldn't just stop being "perfect." What would happen to her life? Harry and Ron would probably end up failing, there would be no voice of reason on their escapades. Besides, what did she have besides smart? She wasn't pretty, contrary to what her mother and a few adults said, and she wasn't provocative. And she certainly wasn't loose. So, give the boys the excuse of intimidation to stay away, just so her feelings weren't hurt. It's easier to believe that than the fact that she is just undesirable to anyone she would want to date. It easier to believe that than the fact that she isn't loved by another.

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

You're in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

Sitting in the library, she daydreams of a knight in shining armor, a prince charming to sweep her off her feet. She dreams of a day when she isn't stuck in the monotony of Harry saving the day while she sits on the sideline, knowing she could have done it but for the fact that he is "the chosen one" and therefore is somehow required to do it. She would have kept daydreaming but for the sound of sobbing on the other side of the bookshelf. She turns the corner and who does she see sitting there but the incredible ferret himself? She almost walks away, but the sadness on his face as he sits with tears streaming down is more than Hermione's kind heart can stand. She walks over to him and wraps her arms around him in a comforting embrace. Slowly his eyes open, and then they fill with incredulity.

"Don't cry, Malfoy"

"What's it to you, Granger?"

"I…I…I don't know. But please, don't cry. I'll listen, if you want to talk."

"That's…ok. But, can you give me another hug? I don't think anyone has ever given me a sincere one of those…"

Hermione didn't know what to do but to give him another hug. As his eyes closed in something resembling contentment, she realized that the boy that everyone thought was so arrogant and superior just needed a good friend.

AN: Hi again. This song was suggested by Amanda. It's not exactly a romance this time, but I could probably make it into one… if anyone wants it, let me know and I'll do it. Keep sending in song ideas!!!

RomanticAgony


	5. The Kill

Disclaimer: Characters belong to JK Rawling. Song belongs to 30 Seconds to Mars. Combination of the two belongs to me.

What if I wanted to break  
Laugh it all off in your face  
What would you do?  
What if I fell to the floor?  
Couldn't take this anymore  
What would you do,do,do?

Come break me down  
Bury me, bury me  
I am finished with you

I can't stand the alter ego. The names and the insults. The indifference and the snide comments. Especially when the only intimacy I know is with you. It makes me want to laugh in your face, this double life we lead. I'm ready to scream to the world that Draco Malfoy is the man I love. What would the world say? We're only 3 weeks from graduation. Then we go our separate ways, maybe forever separated. The thought tears at my heart. So I'm done. I'm out, I can't take anymore. Take another piece of my heart with you as I turn on all this, as you agree and turn away from me. I don't know about you, but this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

What if I wanted to fight  
Beg for the rest of my life  
What would you do? (do,do)  
You say you wanted more  
What are you waiting for?  
I'm not running from you

Come break me down  
Bury me, bury me  
I'm finished with you  
Look in my eyes  
You're killing me, killing me  
All I wanted was you

I can't run. I can't hide from the ache in my heart when you aren't near. I can't imagine my life without you. We are too much the same, even in all our differences. I'm willing to fight, I'm willing to do whatever has to be done. Something in me is forever connected to you. You and your chasing of women. You and your confusion, claiming I'm nothing and then saying you care. Saying you want me, and then saying you'd rather we didn't. Lighting my soul on fire. You are the one turning from this. I refuse to run. I try to run, but I'm glued to place, waiting for the next installment. Waiting for your hold on me to let up. Don't you see? Can't you tell what you do to me? I would do anything for you. And it's killing me. Staying here wanting you. They tell me you're bad for me, that you'll do nothing but destroy my heart. I know this. Apparently I want you to totally crush me, because I'm still here, aren't I?

I tried to be someone else  
But nothing seemed to change  
I know now, this is who I really am inside  
Finally found myself  
Fighting for a chance  
I know now, this is who I really am

I tried liking other people. I tried ignoring you in you beauty, in your smugness, in your ultimate arrogance. Fat lot of good that did me. I just ended up breaking down and crying my heart out over you. I know this is who I am. Loyal to the end. Even as we fight, even as we tell each other we hate each other, that we can and will be nothing. I still hold out. I still try to be friends. I can't lose you. Not for anything. I don't care that we will go our separate ways soon. I'm holding on to every last second.

Come break me down  
Bury me, bury me  
I am finished with you,you, you  
Look in my eyes  
You're killing me, killing me  
All I wanted was you

Come break me down  
Break me down  
Break me down

It's breaking my heart to be around you, but not with you. It's killing me to be your friend, but not be able to hold you. I have to leave or I will break down. You cause the barriers of my heart to crumble. I know better than to fall in love. To want you to be happy no matter what. Because, inevitably, no matter what doesn't include me. And I break down. Soon, though, I'll leave and my barriers will be back in place, stronger than ever before. No one will be able to break through them.

_What if I wanted to break?_


	6. Remember When It Rained

Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot is mine

Wash away the thoughts inside  
That keep my mind away from you.  
No more love and no more pride  
When thoughts are all I have to do.

The war is over, and the light has won. What did anyone really expect? Harry died for it, because when Voldemort took his blood, they were forever connected even beyond that prophecy. But that's not what's important right now. What's important right now is remembering you, my brave dragon. You switched sides, gave up your family and your inheritance to do what was right. You gave up all your comforts to be with me. You gave up your life to save me from your father, jumping in front of the curse meant for me. How did I deserve it? What deity decided that a love that strong should be wasted on me, the bookworm? Why did you in all your beauty pick me? I'll never know.

_Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
Felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name.  
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
In the darkness I remain._

It was raining during that final battle. It was the fight of my life, for my life, for everyone's life. I was facing someone else, some nameless face in a mask, when your father put the binding curse one me. " My dear little Mudblood, I will make sure you feel the pain that you caused me by turning my son into a traitor. _Crucio!_ With that one word, a searing, blinding pain coursed through me. But I still could concentrate enough to hear two simultaneous _Avada Kedavra_ and know that Lucius was dead because the curse was lifted. But the curse was just beginning because in between me and Lucius was your beautiful body, frozen forever in a look of determination. My pain was excruciating, worse than the curse he had put on me before. I fell to my knees, screaming your name. I continued to scream your name, while others fell beside me dead. It wasn't until Ron picked me up and said "There's nothing you can do" that I stopped screaming, my throat too hoarse to go on but the tears still falling like the rain around us.

Tears of hope run down my skin.  
Tears for you that will not dry.  
They magnify the one within  
And let the outside slowly die.

I spent days hoping it was a mistake, even though I saw it with my own eyes. The only time I wasn't crying was when I was asleep, but according to those around me, I still called for you. I didn't eat, I barely drank, I was a walking shell. The love that I had for you was obvious to all, the pain I felt not leaving anyone alone. Even when they brought your body to me, cleaned up and looking peaceful, I still hoped that you were asleep, waiting for me to wake you up, about to say "One more minute, I'll get up, I promise." I sat with your body for a day, not letting them take you away from me, not listening to anyone else, just staring at you. They tried to tell me I was killing myself, but I didn't care. I needed you. I needed you desperately.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
I felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name.  
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
In the water I remain  
Running down

It was raining again when they finally could lay you to rest, when I finally left to use the bathroom and they could take your body. At the service, I just stared, dead to the world. The service was lovely, telling of our love and your sacrifice and all the great things you had done. When they closed the lid, the tears started falling. They lowered you down, everyone else leaving and I just sat there. But when they put the first clump of dirt on your coffin, I fell to my knees and screamed you name again, just like when I first saw you. My hope was gone, you were gone and all I had left were the memories. Memories of the passion, of the happiness, of the hope, of our plans. I just sat there and cried, my tears mingling with the rain on my face and falling into the puddle around me, soaking my cloak.

Running Down 

I stayed there for hours, wishing I could be with you again, knowing that I should be moving on but somehow unable. All I felt was pain, anguish, guilt and hopelessness. I couldn't take the pain anymore.

Running Down 

I put a spell on myself, numbing the physical pain I was feeling. But it did nothing for the pain I felt inside

Running Down 

I slowly pulled the blade from under my cloak. People thought I was too smart for this, but it was the only solution. I ran the blade across my wrist, not feeling anything but watching the blood slowly seep from me, my life ebbing away.

Running Down 

I heard people in the distance, calling to me, crying for me. But it didn't matter anymore. The pain I felt in my heart was gone. The last thing I remember is walking toward a bright light and you, standing in the center, holding your arms out, welcoming me. Now we will be together forever.

_Running Down_


	7. Remember When It Rained Alternate

Disclaimer: Nothing but the plot is mine. Not the song, even though I love it.

Wash away the thoughts inside  
That keep my mind away from you.  
No more love and no more pride  
When thoughts are all I have to do.

Just passion. That's all they felt as the clothing and all other obstacles were taken from their path. Their bodies intertwined as an animal need enveloped them. Swallowing them, taking away the distinction between friend and enemy, Mudblood and Pureblood.

_Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
Felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name.  
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
In the darkness I remain._

They were outside, at the total mercy of nature, and boy did nature abuse them. The storm that fell around, though, was nothing compared to the storm raging in each of their eyes. As he devoured every inch of her skin, he pounded into her relentlessly. She spiraled downward and upward at once, into her release and her oblivion, screaming his name to the world, her back arched in total abandon.

Tears of hope run down my skin.  
Tears for you that will not dry.  
They magnify the one within  
And let the outside slowly die.

Days passed. She continued to feel for him, although he had accomplished his goal. The Slytherin Sex God had triumphed over the Gryffindor Princess. Put thoughts in her head other than those of studying and fitting in. She finally approached him one day and told him her feelings. Of course he laughed. What more could she offer him? He'd had his fun, he'd done what he wanted. She was nothing but a Mudblood again, even dirtier for letting him have his way. As he walked away laughing, she turned and walked in the opposite direction, crying, hoping he would rethink, knowing that he never would.

Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
I felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name.  
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
In the water I remain  
Running down

It was raining again when she went out to sit at her favorite thinking spot, down by the lake. Surrounded by the water, her tears were barely noticeable, but she felt each burning trail down her cheek. What would she do now? She couldn't tell Ron and Harry, they'd never forgive her. She sat there in the silence, thinking, solving this problem like so many others.

Running Down 

She couldn't even contemplate suicide, he wasn't worth that much to her, not if he could hurt her this bad and laugh. What to do?

Running Down 

She realized what she had to do. The rain washed away some of the hurt, and she realized only time could do the rest. She wasn't some weak little mudblood, she was a smart, pretty, confidant girl and she would get past this. Others would fall for her and when he realized just exactly what he had done by laughing at her and turning away, she would return the favor. So she would do what she always did, for something in that had attracted him in the first place. She would show him. Even if it still hurt, she wouldn't let him know that he had that power over her. She stood, drenched from the rain, but no longer crying. Somehow, she had been cleansed.

Running Down 


	8. Was It A Dream?

Disclaimer: Characters belong to JK Rawling. Song belongs to 30 Seconds to Mars. Combination of the two belongs to me.

Your defenses were on high  
Your walls built deep inside  
Yeah I'm a selfish bastard  
But at least I'm not alone 

You had never had a boyfriend. You were cynical of anyone that showed interest in you. That was ok. It made you a challenge. I didn't care about what had to have happened to you to make you so scared of men. I never claimed to care about anyone's feeling. I am the ultimate selfish bastard. Do you know how many times I've heard that? I couldn't care less. Because if being a selfish bastard comes with my great looks and way with women, I'll keep it close at hand.

My intentions never change  
What I wanted stays the same  
And I know what I should do  
it's time to set myself on fire 

You thought because we slept together, we should be a steady couple. That I should show open affection for you. You thought a few kisses in darkened classrooms meant I felt more than a passing lust for you. Hell, even I realize there is a problem with my commitment. I'll even admit, I miss you now that I can't have you. Fuck it all, I miss you horribly. No, what I wanted hasn't changed. But I've added to the list. I want you.

Was it a dream?  
Was it a dream?  
Is this the only evidence that proves it  
A photograph of you and I 

It's like we never even were civil toward each other. Ever. You and Weasel-by and Pot-head still torment my existence, but only by the weekly updates about you in the Daily Prophet. Pictures of you everyday, just as lovely, just as shaggable as ever. Everytime I see one, I pull out the one picture I have of the two of us when we were together. And that picture is what made me realize what I'm missing. The love shining in your eyes. Gone forever now because what I wanted never changed, and what I wanted was as many girls as possible. Slytherin Sex God, the title I was striving for in school. And who would deny me, the only one to ever get a sexual anything out of little miss perfect Hermione Granger?

Your reflection I've erased  
Like a thousand burned out yesterdays  
Believe me when I say goodbye forever  
Is for good 

I told you that we would never be anything. That I had used you. I burned one more bridge, never realizing that it was probably the one that led to salvation. But I can't come anywhere near you. I've already said goodbye. We would NEVER be anything. So much for me and my big mouth.

Was it a dream?  
Was it a dream?  
Is this the only evidence that proves it  
A photograph of you and I 

Was it a dream?  
Was it a dream?  
Is this the only evidence that proves it  
A photograph of you and I  
(A photograph of you and I) 

Was it a dream?  
Was it a dream?  
Is this the only evidence that proves it  
A photograph of you and I  
A photograph of you and I  
A photograph of you and I... in love...

I would have never believed it if I didn't look at the picture everyday. So, I won't torture myself anymore. I stand here at the edge of the Great Lake at Hogwarts, one of "our" favorite places. As the sun sets across the lake, the photograph drifts out of my hand and into the water. As the picture sinks into the lakes depths, I realize my mistake. That photo was my salvation, keeping me close to the one good thing I ever had. I fall to my knees as a storm breaks out over my head. Now all it will ever be is a dream.


	9. Beautiful Lie

Lie awake in bed at night  
And think about your life  
Do you want to be different?  
Try to let go of the truth  
The battles of your youth  
'Cause this is just a game

Black and white. Right and wrong. Good and evil. These are what torment the young mind. These are the clear cut ways of the child's world. But we're older. And as I sit here in my bed, I try to decide if what I have done with my life is appropriate. Not "right", not "good", for those are the thoughts of the young. Morally and civicly appropriate. For in a world where Voldemort reigns supreme, these thoughts make me look better than if Potter had won.

It's a beautiful lie  
It's the perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

That's right. Unfortunately for anyone with a nice bone in their body, Voldemort won. That means that people like Granger were put to work as slaves, in the dirtiest professions in the world. Blood traitors like the Weasley's were put through a series of torture and luxury to brainwash them. Those that failed to comply, they were put into a room similar to the Room 101 of _1984 _fame. Their most torturous experience. And I must admit, some of the things these people are afraid of defy even the worst Death Eaters imagination. That was one of the few muggle artifacts left after we destroyed everything else, the book called _1984_. That and a book called _Mein Kampft. _Yes, I said we. I pulled a Snape and was a double spy, waiting to see which side would win and claiming to be with them the whole time. I now live in the Malfoy Manor, which has come totally into my possession because my father built another manor farther north to run a reteaching camp. I have anything I could possibly want. So why do I still feel guilty?

It's time to forget about the past  
To wash away what happened last  
Hide behind an empty face  
Don't ask too much, just say  
'Cause this is just a game

_Flashback_

The sky was an odd orange green color. The smell of rotting flesh in the air. It was day 5 of the Final Battle. Day 5 of fighting, People like the young Weasley and that Looney Lovegood had already died. Unexpected people switched sides to be with the Dark Lord, like Zacharias Smith. The west wing of Hogwarts had been decimated. Both sides were seriously crippled. But neither was out for the count either. I believe Potter realized he would have to give up his life to kill Voldemort. Something about a prophecy that said "Neither can live while the other survives." What he didn't realize is that Voldemort created one more Horocrux before starting battle with Harry. So when they both shouted _Avada Kedavra, _neither survived. But Potter lost his whole soul, while Voldemort just lost one more piece.

Some time before this though, I was battling someone, I don't even know who. I didn't care. I just was avoiding being killed myself. But I almost lost. Someone had me in a binding curse and I thought I was gone. But for some unknown reason, Granger saved me. And when she saved me, something happened to me. I kissed her. And she kissed me back. In the middle of the death, the destruction, something blossomed between us. Something strong and pure. But when Voldemort won, I ignored it, and she stared at me with her tear stained face, telling me with her eyes that she forgave me for treating her this way, for being a traitor. She was the only one to understand that I was acting on survival instinct, even if she couldn't do it. They took her away and she became the toy of the highest Death Eaters. But never to me. I avoided her at all costs. Because out of sight, out of mind. And if she was in my mind, I was lost. So I hid my emotions, despising mudbloods on the outside, but on the inside harboring the most wonderful feelings of love and devotion for the figurehead of them all, Hermione Granger.

It's a beautiful lie  
It's the perfect denial  
Such a beautiful lie to believe in  
So beautiful, beautiful it makes me

I guess Voldemort realized something was up. He was always the second best Legilimens, after Dumbledore. But I thought I had become an accomplished enough Occlumens to block him. He got enough to realize that I had at some point sympathized with the enemy, though. And that was to be the downfall of all I loved. I was summoned to the new Ministry of Magic, to an audience with the dark Lord himself. But when I walked in, I knew I was going to have to do something terrible. There, in the middle of the floor, on her knees and barely recognizable, was Hermione Granger. Skin and bone, eyes and spirit broken, she stared at me listlessly until a small spark of recognition and a smile graced her face. But just enough for me to see. To everyone else, she still looked like the Inferi. Voldemort then gave me a task. To kill her. I didn't know what to do. He told me to wait until the full audience had come, because all the higher ups were going to be there to see if I was truly on their side or if I was another blood traitor. People started filing in, some wearing their masks in memory of the days when Hermione had been in her prime with Potter and gang. All of them, though, were staring at me. Trying to glimpse my thoughts. Nobody could guess that I was in the worst predicament of my life. The only girl I had truly loved, waiting for me to kill her. But if I don't, we both die anyway. Isn't it better for her to live in my memory than not? But what will happen to that one piece of my soul I've kept away? Will it shrivel and die with her?

Everyone's looking at me  
I'm running around in circles, baby  
A quiet desperation's building higher  
I've got to remember this is just a game

I didn't know what to do. What should I do? But then I'm out of time. Voldemort says "Now, kill her." And the hope that shone in your eyes. The hope of a better life after this, where you could be back with your precious Potter and Weasley. Where you could be the number one student again, fitting in because of your hard work and blood be damned. Back in the prime of your life, with Dumbledore and the other teachers fawning all over you. But in a place where you could wait for me, wait for love to come again. And I realize that the desperation that I was feeling was uncalled for, because this had been your dearest hope. That they would kill you and take you away from all this. As I raised my wand to do what everyone there wanted, you smiled at me and mouthed "I love you." With that, a burst of green light flashed forth from my wand and you were gone, smile still on your face. Everyone filed out and I was told to dispose of you. I walked over to where you were, fell to my knees and wept. You were so beautiful. But I know I'll see you when my life is finally over.

So beautiful, beautiful...


	10. Call Me When You're Sober

Don't cry to me  
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
You want me  
Come find me  
Make up your mind

"Hermione, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry I'm late, I'll be over in just a minute. Just wait." Why should I wait on you? You're so shit-faced drunk, I can hear it in your words. You never come over when you're sober, anyway. You have to be half tipsy to consider defying your father, even though he's been dead for 5 years now. You never take me to public functions with you, prefering to "keep me from the public eye"... Bullshit. I think I've been in the public eye more than you. You "prefer" to have half the wizarding world still talking about how you're the most eligable bachelor. As soon as Harry and Ginny were married, you went to the top of that list. The parties that you were invited to were innumerable. The skinny, well dressed bimbos willing to throw themselves on you were also infinite. So why tie yourself done? Even if it's to Hermione Granger, Most Eligable Bachelorette. Make up you mind, do you want me or not? You know where I live. Be here.

Should I let you fall?  
Lose it all?  
So maybe you can remember yourself  
Can't keep believing  
We're only deceiving ourselves  
And I'm sick of the lie  
And you're too late

I'm sick of the lies. Of the waiting on you to show up when you're supposed to. Of keeping you on the right line so you can continue to go to parties and forget me. This is a lie. You don't love me. Stop saying you do. Because I listen to you each time and fool myself into thinking you're telling the truth this time. I'm falling in love with someone else, someone who listens to me when I cry my eyes out because you're not there.

Don't cry to me  
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
You want me  
Come find me  
Make up your mind

Couldn't take the blame  
Sick with shame  
Must be exhausting to lose your own game  
Selfishly hated  
No wonder you're jaded  
You can't play the victim this time  
And you're too late

It's not my fault you drink yourself senseless. It's not my fault you feel guilty about loving me. I'm tired of you blaming me for breaking the rules of your childhood. And because of that attitude, people hate you for YOUR blood. Hated because of the one thing you thought you could hold dear. It's not anyones fault but your own either. You could blame your father, but you were the one to insult people in school. People who now are important. People who still don't like you. People like Harry and Ron. People who never hated me because of my blood. People who remain my friends even if I do somethig they don't like. Like date you. 

So don't cry to me  
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
You want me  
Come find me  
Make up your mind

You never call me when you're sober  
You only want it cause it's over  
It's over

I'm not even sure you miss me at all. I think its the fact that one more person has left you, because of your attitude or because of other reasons, you're still one person shorter on your list of people who like you. And I'm definately done. There will be no more second chances.

How could I have burned paradise?  
How could I - you were never mine

Don't blame me for this either. It's not my fault we aren't anything now. We never were anything anyway except shag buddies, apparently. No gifts, no anniversaries, not even a visit of one of us is sick. Nothing. You always had more important things to do. More important women to do.

So don't cry to me   
If you love me  
You would be here with me  
Don't lie to me   
Just get your things  
I've made up your mind

So get out of here. Leave. We're done. Don't tell me how you love me. Don't tell me it'll never happen again. I've decided. Here's your stuff.


	11. Broken Vow

Ron was tired. Tired of waiting up while Hermione stayed "late at work." Tired of smelling cologne on her clothes, because he didn't wear it normally. Tired of always being the one to put the kids to sleep. Just plain tired. At first, he didn't want to believe it. Not his smart, beautiful, wonderful wife. Not his Hermione. But there was no denying the note he found. The one that was written in masculine handwriting, only containing the words "Can't wait to see you again tonight my love". So when Hermione got home that evening, all that was left of Ron's stuff was his wedding band. She found a note beside it, addressed to her, and the stereo had a song on repeat.

Tell me his name I want to know The way he looks And where you go I need to see his face I need to understand Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again I want to hear Who broke my faith in all these years Who lays with you at night When I'm here all alone Remembering when I was your own

I'll let you go I'll let you fly Why do I keep on asking why I'll let you go Now that I found A way to keep somehow More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said Show me the tears you never shed Give me the touch That one you promised to be mine Or has it vanished for all time

I'll let you go I'll let you fly Why do I keep on asking why I'll let you go Now that I found A way to keep somehow More than a broken vow

I close my eyes And dream of you and I And then I realize There's more to life than only bitterness and lies I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul to hold you once again And never let those moments end

I'll let you go I'll let you fly Now that I know why I'm asking why I'll let you go Now that I found A way to keep somehow More than a broken vow

The note, when she opened it, only said "I know if you love me, you come back. Ron"

She hung her head in shame for only a moment, and went back into the arms of her lover, the man who always had stirred strong feelings in her, be they of hate in school or of passion now. She didn't return to Ron, but she ran into the arms of his greatest enemy in school and, unknown to Ron, the object of Ron's hate and confusion now. Draco Malfoy.


	12. So She Dances

A waltz when she walks in the room

She pulls back the hair from her face

She turns to the window

To sway in the moonlight

Even her shadow has grace

Everything she does is so graceful, so damn perfect. But she shouldn't be perfect, not according to how I was raised, according to everything I thought I believed. She just waltzes into the library, like she owns the fucking place. Well, in a sense she kind of does, because she is always in here. Always going to the same predictable chair by the same damn window, stopping whatever homework she happens to be doing for whatever year (because everyone knows that she does homework years in advance) to stare at the moonlight. She gently places her head on her hand. Oh, but that I were a glove on that hand that I might touch that cheek. She seems to shine and shimmer in the moonlight, giving her an ethereal quality.

A Waltz for the girl out of reach

She lifts her hands up to the sky

She moves with the music

The song is her Lover

The melody's making her cry.

Oh, I know she is unavailable, at least to me. After taunting her for seven years, after everything I have done, my family has done, my house has done, how could I ever expect her to forgive me? She is the epitome of everything I'm supposed to hate. So why then, do I realize how exquisitely perfect she is? want so badly to be the one to hold her, to tell her I Love her. Exactly. I can't. She may even fall for me. But my family, my friends, would all hate her for her background while her friends would hate her for being a traitor. I can deal with all of them hating me, but I can't do that to her. She deserves more happiness than I can ever possibly provide for her.

So She Dances

In And out

Of the crowd

Like a glance

This Romance is

From afar

Calling me silently

It doesn't matter what I do, _who _I do. I've pissed of three girls and have actually had to Obliviate them because I've called out her name. So I sit and stare at her across the Great Hall, across a classroom, insulting her every chance I get just for the chance to be near her. I push her farther away just so I can get closer. I hurt her every chance I get so I know that she feels _something _for me, even if it is pure, unadulterated loathing. I love it when I get her cheeks to flush that pretty rose color, and her deep brown eyes stare back intensely at me… see how horrible it is? I'm a sap and that's when She's angry at me. What would I do with myself if she loved me in return? I have no idea…

A Waltz for the chance I should take

But how will I know where to start?

She's spinning between Constellations and dreams

Her rhythm is my beating heart

I should ask. Assuming things makes an ass out of you and me as the saying goes. But what do I say? "Hey, umm… by the way, you know those insults I've been throwing around pretty intensely this entire year? That's because I am desperately in love with you and take every opportunity to see you, and the only way I know how to do that without getting myself killed is to insult you…" Yeah, _THAT'LL _go over well. She's a part of things bigger than me. Smartest witch of our age? Helping Potter defeat Voldie? Hell, she probably has done everything but cast the spells herself. Always bailing him out of his messes, teaching him things. Stupid Saint Potter. Getting to be friends with her. Damn him, damn Voldemort, I hope they go kill each other. I want her. For me.

So She Dances

In And out

Of the crowd

Like a glance

This Romance is

From afar

Calling me silently

I can't keep on watching forever

I give up this view

Just to tell her

When I close my eyes

I see

The spotlights are bright on you and me

We've got the floor

And you're in my arms

How could I ask for more?

So, I tell her. About my love. I couldn't hold out anymore. I told her about this dream I had the first time I saw her at the Yule Ball and she and I are just together, dancing, swaying and just together, perfect for all the world to see that I don't care about heritage, I care about her.

So She Dances

In And out

Of the crowd

Like a glance

This Romance is

From afar

Calling me silently

And she laughs. She talks about how that would be a great twisted joke if she didn't know better and she goes away, weaving in and out of the crowd between classes like a dream, or a glance. So I continue to hold on, for a time when people are more understanding. Until then, I'll continue to insult her. Until then, I'll watch her silently.

AN: Anyone catch the other references in there? One was Romeo and Juliet and the other was from Wicked. Ok, see you later.


End file.
